Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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