somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
