Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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