Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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