if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
