i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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