Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
