omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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