Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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