A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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