I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
