Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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