I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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