Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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