awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
even my farts smell like vagina
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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