My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
