exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
