Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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