Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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