don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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