is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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