How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
