i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize