Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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