he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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