so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
