ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
