In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize