i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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