He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
