In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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