I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
