remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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