Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
