i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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