WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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