he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
