just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
