omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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