What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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