where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
