I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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