that's an acceptable place to lick
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
