I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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