This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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