Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
