You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
