I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize