I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
