Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
