you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
