ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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