perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
