Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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