honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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