right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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