she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
then he tried to convert me to islam
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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