I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
