I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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