sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
