Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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